Well, as Cataract City's day of publication nears (September 3rd—yeah, I'm gonna repeat it ad nauseum; it's my dang blog, I can do as I please!) I've had a few emails from people wondering, quite directly, if I'll be getting my head, brisket, breadbasket, haunches, loins, and other anatomical extremities pummelled in some manner or another as a way to promote the book.
The answer, as it now stands—and sadly, for all you bloodyminded individuals—is no. The Fighter kind of ruined me for promotional craziness; those were some long months of training, boxing, recuperating from a beating, then training again, boxing again, and recuperating.
For those of you who aren't familiar with that bygone time in the life of your humble blogger, I was able to dredge up a few videos. I absolutely can't watch them, in the way that I wouldn't want to watch myself get thrashed by the schoolyard bullies back in elementary school—not that either of my opponents were bullies, I asked for the fights and got them (oh, did I ever ...). But for you, I gladly present them!
FIGHT NUMERO UNO
FIGHT NUMERO DOS
Then, of course, there were the steroid adventures, which I assumed would improve the book—a bit more participatory horseplay that I'm sure wrecked my body just a bit ...
'ROIDING AND RAMPAGING
... so anyhoooooo, I feel like that promotional foray was pretty intense. And another thing I learned, and my publishers too, is that sadly, putting needles in your bum and in funneling veterinary drugs or getting your face stove in will fill a room and attract a decent amount of attention, but it won't really compel anyone to buy the book you're trying to get people to read. Lesson learned!
Looking back, I'm still damn glad I did all that. It was a hell of a time and it actually helped me become a more dedicated person—because, crazy as those events were, they required a huge amount of training and, y'know, pushing myself places I didn't want to go. If the end result wasn't exactly what I was expecting, well, a great deal of life can be summed up that way, can't it?
Of course, with a precedent like that, some people have a hope/expectation that I might do something equally batty this time around. The book's set in Niagara Falls, so why not, say, go over the Falls in a barrel? That would be compelling, wouldn't it?
It would! But I'm not going to do it. I am a fuddy-duddy. I have a fiancee and a baby. I can't go around hurling myself over the Falls! Maybe it'll be a cozy wine-and-cheese kind of a thing ... it's unlikely a fistfight would break out there, and I wouldn't have to go to the hospital as a precautionary measure. That would be a treat.
So keep watching this space for news of any launch plans—so far it's pretty low-key, and I'm perfectly fine with that this time around. But things could always go sideways.
All best, Craig.